My Iphone wakes me up every weekday morning at 6am. Despite the fact that I will never admit it, I often roll over, pick up my phone, and look through my Facebook newsfeed before finding my way to the kitchen for some coffee and an english muffin. Often I mindlessly scroll through my newsfeed, letting myself wake up, and proceed to immediately forget everything I just saw on my screen.
However, this morning one post stood out to me. A quote read, "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for." I found myself thinking about it throughout the day wondering what this really meant. Does it mean that if I ask for that Apple Watch I have been eyeing it will magically appear? Does it mean I can just demand things from my family and friends? Will I finally convince my friends to no longer plan dinners on the east side because I "need" to not sit in traffic? I don't think think so.
Later in the day, I caught myself saying one of my favorite therapy phrases to one of my teen clients. "Speak your truth." This is a phrase I've probably said over a thousand times in my office. I am constantly asking teens and young adults to be authentic versions of themselves and to learn to communicate their needs to their loved ones. I believe in helping teens and young adults to use vulnerability and authenticity as strengths. The moment I uttered "speak your truth," I understood what this quote meant to me.
When we create the time and space admit to ourselves what we really "need," we begin to realize that sometimes the things we "need" are difficult to admit to others. We need to feel less alone in our families, our friendships, and in our own selves. We need to feel connected and worthy of love. We need to feel heard and understood.
It takes courage to admit to ourselves the things we really need. It takes even more courage to admit these needs to others. However, when we are finally vulnerable enough to share our true needs with those around us, we find that just the process of sharing helps us to, "get in life what (we had) the courage to ask for."